I'm Just an Old Fashioned Guy

I'M JUST AN OLD FASHIONED GUY
© Jim Molinelli

Bobby helps me lug the black & white to the patio,
Plug it in and fire it up — it’s game time ya’ know.
Twist the rabbit ears around, till the picture looks its best.
Set the dial to channel nine, and settle in to watch the Mets.

Lindsey Nelson lets me know, it’s the bottom of the first
But before I hit the hammock, I must address my thirst.
I holler to the kitchen, "Any Schaefers? Do you know?"
Shirley shouts… "Sorry Hank, you drank 'em long ago!"

Gonna make myself a cocktail, since the beer all went bye bye,
I’ll drink a bourbon Old Fashioned, while the ballgame has my eye.
The kids play in the pool, making quite a splash,
All I need are ice cubes, and some bourbon in my glass.

[CHORUS]
I’m just an old fashioned guy, at heart.
A sugar cube and bitters at the start,
A jigger of bourbon, and plenty of ice,
A Maraschino cherry and Orange slice,
I gotta say–that’s Paradise!...
Yes I’m… just an Old Fashioned guy!

As I lay in the hammock, the Mets come up again,
They start a little rally, as the home second begins.
Shirley yells from inside, "Bobby, put your sister down!"
When the Mets get their first run, there's cheering all around.

In the bottom of the 4th, Art Shamsky belts a homer.
Shirley comes outside to see it, and hands me a Good Humor.
She’s holding LIFE Magazine about the Man on the Moon
I say “What’s wrong with the rocks down here? That whole thing’s Looney Tunes!”

I sip on my Old Fashioned as the hammock gently sways.
I have Bobby tweak the rabbit ears each time the signal fades.
My neighbor got a color set, a twenty five-inch screen,
Who cares if the grass looks gray? We all know that grass is green!

I’m swaying in the hammock, both eyes locked on the game,
I’ll mix one more Old Fashioned, in the 7th frame.
Those hippies up in Woodstock, sing of peace and war,
Me? I’ll be right here hoping the Mets can score.

[CHORUS]
I’m just an old fashioned guy, at heart.
A sugar cube and bitters at the start,
A jigger of bourbon, and plenty of ice,
A Maraschino cherry and Orange slice,
I gotta say–that’s Paradise!...
Yes I’m… just an Old Fashioned guy!

A station wagon ad comes on, all shiny and new,
No wagon for me... my ’57 Chevy'll do!
When the 7th inning stretch arrives, I go refill my glass.
The score remains two nothing, despite the gray-toned grass.

The eighth becomes a struggle and the Dodgers tie it up,
I almost spill my cocktail, ice cubes clinking in my cup.
I swirl my drink and mutter, "Well, they’ve blown a lead again,"
Shirley says, "We’ve got the 9th old man, and if needed, ten!"

[soft humming] hmmm mm mm
[soft humming] hmmm mm mm

Jerry Grote comes to bat, with two outs in the ninth,
He lofts a Texas Leaguer, that defies the Dodgers' length.
I hoot from the hammock, as the winning run comes through,
I shout “I’m grilling steaks for dinner!” And Shirley adds "yah-hoo!"

[Chorus]
I’m just an old fashioned guy, at heart.
A sugar cube and bitters at the start,
A jigger of bourbon, and plenty of ice,
A Maraschino cherry an Orange slice,
I gotta say–that’s Paradise!...
Yes I’m… just, an Old Fashioned guy!

When Kiner’s Korner starts —Jerry Grote is his guest,
I rise with my Old Fashioned, what’s left of it at best,
I call out to Bobby, "let’s lug this thing back in,”
I fold the rabbit ears, and I grin... at my Chevy once again.

...yeah I guess, I’m… Just, an Old Fashioned Guy!